As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
And then he peed in my hair
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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