my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
