So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
