I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize