she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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