even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
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That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
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Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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