I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
