I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Randomize
