I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
