I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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