mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
