i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
