Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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