He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
