Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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