theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Your cock deserves a montage
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
