I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
My life is pants optional.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
