I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He passed out mid-signature
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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