You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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