Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
