There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Someone came in the potted fern
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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