Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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