does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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