Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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