Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
