I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
