Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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