The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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