Whod you bang
Already got asked if we're dating
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Randomize
