I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
