my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I smell like Dick and happiness
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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