his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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