I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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