I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
