shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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