i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
