why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
