my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
