Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just found puke in my bra..
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
