Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
