I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
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whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
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I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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