Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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