Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
