Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
