The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize