she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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