The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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