Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize