i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
