hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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