I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
and eventually we just all took our pants off
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
