Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
