all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize