making cat noises will not fix the situation.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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