I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
